So, it’s no secret that Cobra and I have had a falling out and they have pretty much become the reason I hate everything all the time (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here or here and then come back).

Against my better judgement I bought the new album as a “Congrats for getting bitches out of your life” present. Little did I know it was going to be more of a punishment than a reward.

None of the album really feels like Cobra Starship. It feels like the pop music machine got a hold of them and rang all of the talent and cheekiness that was Cobra Starship into a bucket and tossed it out the window like yesterday’s bath water. It has been replaced by awful, over produced melodies and lyrics to match.

At least two songs are very clear rip offs of songs that have already hit it big. I won’t go into the details about “You Make Me Feel…” because I already have gone through it once and just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

What I can talk about is “#1nite.” I dare you to listen to it and not have a familiar taste in your mouth. I will give you the answer. The song is a mash between Usher’s “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” and Chris Brown’s “Forever.” On top of making me scratch my head for ten minutes trying to figure out what this sounded like the lyrics are awful. “I got one hand up, the other on you.” Come on, you can do better than that.

By far the worst song of the whole damn mess is “Disaster Boy.” This is the sad, sorry excuse for a chorus:

Yeah every girl has given up
But I’m the one who’ll stand by you
Can’t you feel my heartbeat
Listen up
Disaster boy I’m dialling you
Don’t you pin your heart on my sleeve
Don’t you pin your heart on my sleeve

It is only made worse by the fact that Vicky-T can’t sing. I don’t mean to be harsh, she kicks ass in almost every other way but she just shouldn’t sing lead. To really feel how bad this song is, just go listen to it, I guarantee you won’t make it through the whole thing (If you do, let me know, and I will personally send you a hand drawn picture of what ever you want).

The only redeeming song, mind you it doesn’t make up for the rest of the crap, is “Fool Like Me.” It has a fifties feel and some really great lyrics, “I’m sorry that I hit your dog with my bike, but he still got three legs, he gonna be just fine.” It is the only song that keeps up with their witty, cheeky reputation.

Once I waded through all the crap there is a glimmer of hope for Cobra still. Gabe’s voice is getting better all the time. It is crystal clear and he hits the notes perfectly. They need to go back to locking themselves in cabins on the mountains, and not let Kara DioGuardi get a hold of them again.